So, this year has been an incredible year full of happiness, blessings and new ventures. It has also been a year of loss, sadness and broken relationships. In March I became grandmother to identical twin girls who I love so dearly and who have brought great joy into my heart. In August we all attended their mummy and daddy’s wedding that had been cancelled the year before due to Covid taking control.

A month later the girls were celebrating their Christening Day.

My mother has had a rough year with her health and Covid and shielding hasn’t helped. We have lost loved ones and have also seen loved ones fight some battles and recover.

To be honest I really am not surprised that I started suffering from severe fatigue and just not feeling myself.

Forgetfulness, vertigo, very little or no energy, no motivation to really do anything and a bloated uncomfortable tummy.

My kidney stones were playing havoc in the background and I had just received my 5^th cancellation with the Urology team who look after me and my troublesome kidney stones.

GP appointments had ended with testing for Diabetes, Thyroid, Liver and a stomach scan to check on my troublesome kidney stones.

I felt like I was constantly complaining but it seemed like nobody was really listening or taking me seriously. I knew something was not right and I felt that something had to give.

Sunday 7^th November 2021, I woke up to a discomfort on my left side just under my left breast. I put it down to my kidney stones as I usually did when I have pain in that area.

Then it happened, the pain travelled across my chest, down my back, down my arms and down my legs and slowly up my head taking away my senses.

A diagram of a sickle cell crisis (Photo by Darryl Leja, NHGRI)

I was experiencing my first major Crisis in ten years and it was all over my body. I think that frightened me more than the severity of the pain because it hit my entire body immediately.

I could hear me having a conversation with myself, “I am not going to the hospital…no matter how bad it gets, I am not going to the hospital”.

That little voice also kept saying ‘drink lots of water, take some strong pain killers, get on top of the pain so it doesn’t take over’.

But deep inside I knew it had already taken over, this crisis had a pain score of 10. I remember seeing my husband’s face drop with sadness as he asked me the pain score and I answered 10.

I switched off from everything and began to fill myself with lots of fluids and painkillers, kept myself wrapped in bed, emptied my mind of everything and listened to online Sunday services and worship songs.

I didn’t want to allow myself to have any negative thoughts or any form of negativity around me… I had to fight this… please God help me to fight this.

Today is Monday 8^th November, I still feel awful, my arms and legs are still being attacked with pain my chest feels a little better my head feels like it is not my head.

But I‘ve managed to type this, an account of my crisis as I go through it.

I am so grateful that my crisis has calmed down today so that I am able to type this up before I try to again sleep the pain away.

As I type I can almost feel the sickle cells within my leg clumping together telling me it is now time to stop.

Laurel

You can find Laurel on Instagram @laurelbrumant

This blog is part of the Real Lives blog series, sharing the real stories of people living with sickle cell. Read more here: www.sicklecellsociety.org/category/real-lives-blog/